I'm a fair-weather friend...

.... to my blog. I half expected my dear sweet blog to have run away, much like the little monsters do in petsville if you abandon them (one of many facebook applications I added and ignored after a week.)
Here's some things I'd like to touch on.

It's officially August so needless to say, we're getting married next month! YYYYAYY!

We are crossing more and more off our gigantic wedding to-do list. It feels so good every time I get to cross something off!

My dress is a little too big. It's the smallest size they sell at David's Bridal so I'm pretty much stuck with making it work. We've begun sewing the dress onto me rather than just getting it altered because my mom is convinced the dress will never be the same after it goes to a seamstress. So there are snaps connecting the dress to my bustier to make sure it doesn't slide down. I do not want to gain wait, please know that. But today, I couldn't help but have an ice cream sandwich after my dinner (slice of pizza) followed by a slurpee and some chips. It's possible that I saw my dress fitting better and better after each calorie I ingested.

I'm feeling insecure at work. I wish I could fast-forward to a time when I've had so much experience under my belt that I feel confident in most moves I make. I'm out in the field on my own, and am constantly texting and calling my nursing director with questions. I can't help but think that I'm not giving my patients all they deserve. I don't have all the answers, and maybe I never will. I turn every little problem into a catastrophe in my head. Why can't I relax and trust that I'm doing my best, and know that that's good enough? I'm nervous all the time. When will this go away??

Theo has two more weeks of traveling before he's home for good. I think we appreciate each other more than we ever have. I went to bed last night looking at him sleeping next to me. How I miss that. It made me sad knowing I would wake up this morning and get back in the car with his bags packed to drop him off at the airport for the fifth time in five weeks. So I tuck my tears away and focus on the day ahead. By Tuesday of the week I'll get into the rhythm of talking to him a few times a day over the phone and be mainly focused on getting my act together at work. Just two more weeks.
Goodnight.

Grays grays go away...

I'm graying! What kind of sick joke is this? And I'm not talking about that random one or two grays you find in high school and go eww! No, this is full on granny style. It started out just a couple towards the front of my part, and over the past year have been popping up like some evil weeds. I know gray hair is part of growing old, but I'm only 24! I did not think I would have to worry about grays before I was old enough to get married or have kids. And to make it worse, the majority of them are towards the front of my head and in my part. I used to love doing a cute braid across my hairline, and now it's impossible because that just shows them off. I've started parting my hair a little further over because it seems to mask them better.
The Cause:
Genetic? Possibly, my mom grayed early too.
Stress? Very likely, I stress more than anyone I know. That's definitely something I'm working on.
Lack of mineral? Hmm... someone mentioned that to me the other day. I'll have to look into it further.
The Plan:
So it's either dye my hair with permanent color that totally fries it,
or us semi-permanent that I have to re-do every 2 weeks.
Or rock the granny look.
I think I'll stick to the semi-permanent for now.
This blows.

My other half

Week 2 of Theo working away. He got home last Friday night and we had an amazing day together Saturday. I really needed it. Then Sunday it was back to the airport and he was off to Washington. I miss my other half so badly. I think I've been doing pretty good up until now. I just want to hold his hand and wrap his arms around me when I need it. I feel like a brat for being so needy, but he honestly completes me. Corny I know. I go to bed at night and set the decorative pillows on his side of the bed and picture him lying next to me. I can't believe I'm complaining this much and it's only our second week of this schedule. I can't even imagine how it's going to feel on week 5. Luckily when he comes home for good we'll be only about a month away from the wedding, only a month away from being eachother's forever.
Oh what I wouldn't give for one of those right now.
Don't mind me, it must just be a case of the Mondays.

Down girl....

I can put away my big, scaley, green tail for now because....

I got my PROOFS! Yay! I was so close to a meltdown when I got that oh so lovely, "1 New Conversation" tab. Not only did she include everything I wanted, but she also included expedited shipping at no extra cost! I only need to change one little detail and they'll be ready to ship. Whoooo... big sigh of relief. Ah they are too cute!!!!!

Bridezilla is showing her ugly face

Ok, I don't consider myself a Bridezilla by any means. Through the whole wedding planning process I have been so easy going. My main concern the whole time is that my Theo and I don't spend a fortune and we create a day that we'll remember and that our guests will have fun at. Seriously though, this Etsy seller has given me some magic potion and turned me into an ugly bride. Situation is as follows.
Theo and I search the web for affordable, cute invitations. We've almost given up hope when we find a seller on Etsy that has ADORABLE invitations for super cheap. Not to mention she has almost 200 positive responses to her work.
End of May to June 10: The seller is quick to respond to my questions and we work out a cost.
June 10th: Seller says "Please send me your wording when you're ready." AKA last time I heard from her.
June 20th: Wording is sent and I'm so excited thinking she'll have a draft of our actual invitation soon!
July 1st: No word yet... hmmm. Maybe I should check in. Send her a message to just see how things are going and see if it would be possible to have them printed and mailed by mid July. I also ask what the rush fee will be since I know that's soon.
July 7th: Stillll no word! Send another message saying I'm getting nervous.
At this point I have no clue if she's even working on them. The RSVP date is August 18th, we have to get these sent out soon!!!!
WHAT DO I DO?????????????

Call me crazy

My mom says I've lost my marbles. Okay, she might be right. I actually painted the ends of wooden toothpicks baby blue for the hor 'dourvs. I thought it would be a quick project but ended up taking way too long! I am crazy for spending time painting toothpicks when we still have a humongous list of things to do. Whatever, they turned out super cute. And in case you were wondering, only the top ends were touched and the bottoms are still safe to touch food.
Oh and one of my favorite shirts has turned into a painting shirt. Who knew toothpick painting was messy?

Can I also say that how much I am loving that this is the fourth episode of The Office in a row? Repeats of course, but I love it!

Baby's a working man

I dropped Theo off at LAX today, and he'll be gone for 4 days. Sad face.
He got a job this summer coaching volleyball camps all over the place. I think his furthest one is in Washington, and most of the time he'll be gone for about 4 days. I'm already feeling like he's far away. Theo and I have this weird thing where we can feel when we're far apart and more than just a car ride away. I'm going to miss him terribly. When I got in the car after dropping him off, one of our favorite songs "I'm yours" by Jason Mraz came on the radio. It put a smile on my face. I can't wait until Friday when I'm back at LAX, taking my baby home... until Sunday when he gets back on a plane.