I'm a fair-weather friend...

.... to my blog. I half expected my dear sweet blog to have run away, much like the little monsters do in petsville if you abandon them (one of many facebook applications I added and ignored after a week.)
Here's some things I'd like to touch on.

It's officially August so needless to say, we're getting married next month! YYYYAYY!

We are crossing more and more off our gigantic wedding to-do list. It feels so good every time I get to cross something off!

My dress is a little too big. It's the smallest size they sell at David's Bridal so I'm pretty much stuck with making it work. We've begun sewing the dress onto me rather than just getting it altered because my mom is convinced the dress will never be the same after it goes to a seamstress. So there are snaps connecting the dress to my bustier to make sure it doesn't slide down. I do not want to gain wait, please know that. But today, I couldn't help but have an ice cream sandwich after my dinner (slice of pizza) followed by a slurpee and some chips. It's possible that I saw my dress fitting better and better after each calorie I ingested.

I'm feeling insecure at work. I wish I could fast-forward to a time when I've had so much experience under my belt that I feel confident in most moves I make. I'm out in the field on my own, and am constantly texting and calling my nursing director with questions. I can't help but think that I'm not giving my patients all they deserve. I don't have all the answers, and maybe I never will. I turn every little problem into a catastrophe in my head. Why can't I relax and trust that I'm doing my best, and know that that's good enough? I'm nervous all the time. When will this go away??

Theo has two more weeks of traveling before he's home for good. I think we appreciate each other more than we ever have. I went to bed last night looking at him sleeping next to me. How I miss that. It made me sad knowing I would wake up this morning and get back in the car with his bags packed to drop him off at the airport for the fifth time in five weeks. So I tuck my tears away and focus on the day ahead. By Tuesday of the week I'll get into the rhythm of talking to him a few times a day over the phone and be mainly focused on getting my act together at work. Just two more weeks.
Goodnight.